It happens every night. Our oldest (2 yrs.) sits down at the dinner table excited to eat.

Then the food comes out.

Suddenly his mouth is locked down tighter than Fort Knox. Doesn’t happen at breakfast. Doesn’t happen at lunch. Just dinner. Cue inevitable bribery and scolding. Cue frustration and irritation. Cue crying and wailing…and that’s just me.

I struggle with this almost every night. I want the kid to eat his food. I want him to listen to my wife and me. I don’t want to have to take away Thomas the Tank Engine for the night. But what I really struggle with is that I’m just not sure what I want him to learn from all of this.

Do I want him to eat his food? Yes.

Do I want him to listen and submit? Yes.

Is there something deeper that I hope he learns? Yes.

I think sometimes, as parents, it becomes really easy to parent based on outcomes. I want my kid to do X. Thus I’ll do Y and Z and X will happen. But I’m not sure X is really what’s important. I’m not as concerned with what he does as who he becomes. I’m less interested in his actions and more interested in his heart. Now don’t get me wrong, actions are important (we often act out of the desires of our heart). But as a toddler, I’m not as concerned with his eating habits as I am about who he is becoming.

Who are you becoming?

P.s. Please never ask my child to read you Fox in Socks. He’s still learning to pronounce ‘Fox’ properly.